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Your Relationship With God

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This week, a young lady asked me a familiar question, one that I had also asked before: How can I know if I have a relationship with God? Christians talk a lot about the importance of a relationship with God. As we should—it is the source of eternal life: “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3). Still, with all of our emphasis on a relationship, we are often left wondering if we have one.

One reason why we struggle is that we don’t know what we’re supposed to be looking for. What does a relationship with God look like? Interestingly, the Bible doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all, formulaic type of relationship that all must have with God. In fact, the Bible uses several types of human relationships to describe our relationship with God. 

Different Types of Relationships

One of the more common relationship comparisons is between husband and wife, or bride and groom (Isaiah 62:5, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:6–9). Another is the father/ parent and child relationship (1 John 3:1, Hebrews 12:7, Luke 13:34). The Bible also uses friendship (Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23), and brothers (Matthew 28:10, John 20:17). Other, less common relationships (at least we do not always view these as relationships) is the healer and patient relationship (Exodus 15:26, Psalm 30:2, 103:3, Jeremiah 33:6) and our relationship with God as our Savior (2 Samuel 22:3, Jeremiah 17:14; Luke 2:11, 2 Timothy 1:10).

Why use so many different types of relationships rather than just one to reveal what God truly wants? Doesn’t God want, and expect, the same relationship with everyone? From my studies, this is my conclusion: More than anything, God wants a relationship with each one of us, but He does not expect the same relationship from us.

Not All The Same

Let me explain. I have met many Christians who struggle with viewing God as their Father. Why? For some, their father was abusive; for others, their father was absent. Either way, they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father so they didn’t know how to have such a relationship with God. Sadly, some gave up because they thought that was the only relationship they could have with God.

A lady recently expressed her desire to have a passionate loving relationship with God. She knew she loved God but didn’t know why she couldn’t have the passion she had witnessed in other people’s lives. I asked her if she had ever had a relationship like that with another person. She said she had, but it had burned her. Her previous bad experience was keeping her from having a deeper, more passionate relationship with God.

What Can You Give?

You see, the Bible uses these different types of relationships to describe what God wants with us because He knows that we are not all capable of having the same relationship with Him. Each of us has experienced good and bad relationships. Some of those bad experiences have damaged us to the point where it can be difficult, if not impossible, to trust enough to try such a relationship again. Whatever you can give, though, is what God wants.

Maybe you’ve never had a good friend, but you have a wonderful relationship with your brother—then God wants to be your Brother. Maybe your marriage was miserable and full of conflict and pain, but you have a wonderful relationship with your parents—then God wants to be your Parent. Whatever positive relationship you cherish the most here, God wants to have with you. 

Start Somewhere

Consider the thief on the cross (see Luke 23:40–43). What kind of relationship could he have had with Jesus? Yet, he was promised paradise. At best he was an acquaintance. However, at some point, while hanging on the cross next to Jesus, he was convinced Jesus was someone greater than himself. His request to Jesus to “remember me when you come into your kingdom,” revealed the beginning of a servant–master relationship. It may not have been much, but it was a start.

What about you? Do you have a desire to have a relationship with God? That’s a start! Then just do the things you do to build any other relationship: talk to Him, listen to Him, spend time with Him, etc. If you are doing these things with God, then you have a relationship with Him.

Could we all end up with the same type of relationship with God? Will we all, someday, be able to experience Him as Father, or Husband, or Friend? It’s possible—when we are in heaven and God is able to fully show us what a good father, husband, and friend can be. Until then, we may be limited by our bad relationships and can only give God our brokenness. The good news is that God will accept whatever you can give. It may not look like everyone else’s relationship, but it doesn’t have to—it’s yours.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Still Following

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One of the more discouraging things a Christian can experience is watching a person reject the Gospel and walk away. It hurts when someone does not want to get to know the God you love. Now imagine how Jesus must have felt when it happened to Him.

It’s a fascinating, yet tragic story found in John 6. The story actually begins in verse 26 with Jesus teaching the crowd about how He would be the Bread of Life. By verse 60, though, it says that many of His disciples considered His teaching to be too hard to understand. Granted, Jesus did mention eating His flesh and drinking his blood (verse 54), so we might be able to sympathize with their lack of understanding. We have the gift of hindsight today to know that Jesus was referring to His sacrifice on the cross and its connection to the Lord’s Supper. Regardless, their confusion as to the meaning seemed to be the last straw for some, since, “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him” (John 6:66).

These are the same disciples that had seen Jesus perform miracles, heal the sick, and teach many truths from heaven. They had walked and talked with Jesus, but now they only walked away. Why? How could they leave?

I struggled with that question. I had assumed that everyone would choose Him and stay. Yet, Jesus said that few would choose the “narrow road” that leads to life (Him), while many would find and choose the “wide road” that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13, 14). I realized that I was asking the wrong question. This is the question I needed to ask: why did the other disciples stay? In verse 67, Jesus asked the twelve if they also wanted to leave, but they didn’t. When everyone else was leaving, they remained. Why?

The question is not why others leave, but why do I stay? The answer to this is vital. Because if I cannot answer this question for myself, how can I give others a reason to start following (or remain)? I can attend a church every weekend, and call myself a Christian, and even label myself with a denominational name-tag, but why do I continue to follow Jesus when others leave?

If we are only following Jesus because its the cool thing to do, soon it will become uncool and we’ll stop following. If we follow only because of what Jesus can give us, then if He doesn’t give us something we want, we’ll stop following. If we follow only because it’s easy, then as soon as the journey gets difficult, we’ll stop following. If we follow out of guilt, or because we’re forced, we’ll stop following any chance we get. So, what reason would cause a disciple to stay?

Peter’s reply contains the true reason any of us remain: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68, 69). This is why we start following Jesus and the reason we stay following Him: salvation is not found in anyone else. He Is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. When we have come to understand and believe this, how can we leave?

There may be many excuses for leaving His side, or rejecting His teachings, or refusing to go further, but Jesus urges us to remain. Jesus asks us to trust Him and stick it out with Him:

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in Him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. … By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:4, 5, 8–11)

Friends, it will become increasingly difficult to follow God. Many do not want to hear His truth anymore, and may even try to pull us from it. So we have to make a choice: leave His side or stay following.

I know Jesus has the words of eternal life and I believe He is the Holy One of God. That is why I’m still following.

Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:27, 28).

Learning to Live by Faith

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The last few months have been an emotionally bumpy ride for me. On my recently updated rollercoaster of life (now fifty percent faster with higher hills and loop-ier loops!), I found myself in several situations that have made me confront my understanding of living by faith. I thought I knew what it was, but like many concepts in life, you really don’t understand something until you’ve experienced it. Well, my experience is that I still have a lot to learn about living by faith. You see, our lives do not always match our beliefs. Let me explain: We may witness God’s amazing power and love and say that we believe in Him, but what do our actions say? When the world is falling down all around us, do we really trust Him? We may talk about having faith, but do we live by faith? Does it really matter? We believe, isn’t that enough? We’ve heard of the importance of faith. Yet, sometimes I think we forget how important it really is. Hebrews 11:6 reminds us: “Without faith it is impossible to please Him.” This is pretty clear. The Greek presents the idea of impossibility based on our being powerless. In other words, without faith we are powerless to please God. I am emphasizing this because we have somehow come to the conclusion that we can easily please God with our own actions. We sing God a song and since we thought it was beautiful and well done, it must have pleased God. We give God our tithes and offerings and since it was not a meager amount and we were pretty cheerful when we gave it, it must have pleased God. We talk to God and read His word when we get a chance, volunteer at the church fairly often, and fulfill many other prescribed church “duties”—basically, we are good Christians—therefore we must please God. Yet, the verse is clear, we can do all of that but if we do not have faith we are not pleasing God. An earlier passage in Hebrews takes this idea up a notch. “But my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him” (Hebrews 10:38). You see, according to the Bible, God’s people will not only believe—not only have faith—they will live by this faith (see also Habakkuk 2:4). We may be familiar with this concept, but unfortunately, we are not as familiar with how it looks in real life. Yes, faith must be active and will be revealed in what we do (James 2:17), but it is not mere actions, it is obedience. This passage showed us the alternative—not living by faith—and described it as “shrinking back.” It is talking about not starting or not continuing to do something due to fear. Thus, not doing something, or stopping something, that God asks of us because we are afraid is the opposite of living by faith. Which, again, leads to not pleasing God. What then is living by faith? This is how Paul described it in his life: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). To live by faith, Paul had to die—not a literal death, but a symbolic death—he no longer lived but Christ lived in him. Living by faith was him giving up control of his life. Jesus was making the decisions instead. In order to live by faith, he had to become completely dependent on Jesus. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:7 that “we walk by faith, not by sight.” Walking by sight means living by human wisdom—trusting in human traditions, ideas, ingenuity, resources, etc. It is being dependent on human sufficiency; trusting only what we can see. It is believing that we must succeed on our own efforts. Walking by faith means living by Christ’s wisdom—fully relying on His grace, power, counsel, and promises. It is completely dependent on Christ’s sufficiency. It is understanding that we can only succeed with His help. Walking by faith requires obedience, even when you cannot see. Of course, when you walk by faith you will want to obey, because you trust that although you cannot see, God can. So, when God says start walking, you start walking. When God says stop, you stop. When God wants you to follow where He’s leading, you don’t question His wisdom, you obey. It does not guarantee us an easy life, it only guarantees that in the end we will be where God wants us to be. Living by faith is giving up the final say in your life; it is changing your dependence from you to God. This is what it means to live by faith: hold on to Jesus and let Him do the walking. As Paul said, “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” We no longer attempt to live this life on our understanding and choices, but fully trusting in Jesus’ leading. We will become fully dependent on Jesus. We will depend on Him for correction and for direction. We will want to know and follow His will, even when we don’t understand it. I’m not suggesting this is an easy thing to do. This concept is against our nature. It may take time to fully trust God. So start with the little things; it will become easier to trust Him with the bigger things later. Then, we can learn to say, “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation” (Isaiah 12:2).

All Design and No Flavor

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It has been a while since I was last able to write to my blog. Life, family, and church has kept me pretty busy the last couple of months. I have had the privilege over the last few weeks to participate in a training session for newly graduated Theology students (soon to be pastors) from my Alma Mater, Southwestern Adventist University. My church hosted them as they learned, hands on, to do evangelism. It has been a wonderful experience for me and my church. While I’m sure they have learned a lot in their field school classes, I continue to learn as well. As I sat in some of their training classes, accompanied them as they visited with people, or listened to them preach, I remembered when I was in their position and felt the excitement, and the apprehension, of entering ministry.

One day, a couple of weeks ago, I was out with one of the students doing visitations when we stopped briefly to get rehydrated. As we considered the moderate offerings of the gas station, a bottle grabbed the attention of the student. It was a unique bottling concept for ice tea. It had a small separate container at the top which contained the tea. The idea was that after opening the bottle you twist the container which would dispense the concentrated tea into the purified water below. After a good shake, the tea was ready to drink. The uniqueness of the tea and its delivery system intrigued him, so he bought it.

He was excited by the potential of this novel drink. The design of the tea’s packaging, as well as the writing on it, promised a fresh, distinctive tea experience. He followed the instructions and watched with a smile as the caramel color of the tea mixed with the water. So far it was just as great as the bottle advertised. Then he drank some. I asked him how it was. “Eh.” It wasn’t anything special. In fact, according to him, at best it tasted like watered down tea. Definitely not what he was expecting.

We marveled at how much thought had gone into the design, while seeming little had gone into the taste. While the bottle and the concept looked great, there was no flavor.

As we talked about it more, we soon wondered how much this product could parallel our Christian experience. Could it be possible that we could put more thought into our presentation than we do for its content? Could we work hard to present beautiful churches, exciting music, and unique ministries, yet have no substance—no flavor? Not only is this possible, it was prophesied by Paul:

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power” (2 Timothy 3:1–5, emphasis mine).

Sadly, this passage is not describing the moral decay of society in general, since it describes people who have a “form of godliness.” It is speaking of those claiming to be God’s people—this is about Christians. In other words, Paul warns that in end times there will be Christians who work hard to advertise godliness, while in reality, they have no spiritual substance. He warns that, in these last days, some Christians will become all design and no flavor.

How does this happen? In Romans 1, Paul gives a similar description of people and says they become this way because “they did not see fit to acknowledge God” (Romans 1:28). Another way of saying this, is that they didn’t think it was worth it to to have God in their knowledge. (The Greek word for “knowledge” in this passage refers a knowledge through experience. Therefore, they didn’t want God in their experiences.) A few verses earlier, he describes the actions of these people: “they exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:25).

I mention this passage because I believe that we will become the people described in Romans 1 and 2 Timothy 3 when we stop having a relationship with God. If we put the appearance of our ministries, our churches, or our “Christianity” ahead of truly knowing our God, we might present “a form of godliness” but we are rejecting its power. Because all of our beautiful buildings, trendy ministries, and beloved doctrines are worthless outside of a relationship with Christ. Honestly, claiming to be a Christian without having a personal relationship with God is false advertising.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want these passages to be a reflection of my life. So I want to worry less about having the most unique “packaging” in Christianity and to be the most original in my ideas, and focus more on truly knowing my God. I want God to be in my experiences; I want to know Him. Because it is our experiences of, and with, Jesus that puts the substance—the flavor—into our church services, our ministries, and our witness. It is our experience of Jesus that adds power and hope to our lives.

“And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3, emphasis mine).

Discipleship: Childish or Childlike?

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When Jesus drew crowds, they were typically silent, focused on listening to Him teach. Yet, every so often, commotion would arise. At one such time, while Jesus was teaching, some thought to bring their children, including infants (Luke 18:15), to Him so He could touch and bless them. But the disciples intercepted these parents and rebuked them. For some reason, the disciples felt that this was inappropriate behavior. It may not have been the proper time yet; maybe the parents were ignoring what was printed in the bulletin. Maybe they were becoming disruptive—children have a way of stealing the show, don’t they? Maybe they thought Jesus had better things to do. It doesn’t matter why they rebuked the parents, the fact is they did.

Their rebuke does not go unnoticed by Jesus. In fact, Mark’s recording of this incident says that it really affected Jesus (Mark 10:14). He became indignant. The Greek word gives an idea of anger, but also of grief. Jesus didn’t just get upset at the disciples, He was hurt (pained) because of their reaction. So Jesus used their reaction as an opportunity to teach His disciples, and all who were listening, a very valuable spiritual lesson.

He instructed them to not keep the children away but to let them come to Him because, “to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14). The KJV says: “to such is the kingdom of God.” In other words, God’s kingdom is made up of those like children. Jesus explains, “Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it” (Mark 10:15).

According to Jesus, children possess a key to the kingdom. This key, according to Him, is in they way they accept the kingdom. In a way, He is telling the disciples that they need to be more like these children.

Is He telling them to become childish? Will Heaven be filled with people acting in childish ways? I don’t think so. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” Can you imagine if Christian adults acted childish? Selfish and whiny adults—what a thought! Regrettably, such childish behavior is still found in too many adults. Yet, this is not what Jesus was asking us to do. Being childlike and being childish are not the same thing.

For example, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14:20, “Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” Our thoughts are to become mature and adult-like (ability to continue to learn and understand deeper things), but we should be child-like, or innocent, when it comes to evil. Similarly, Peter says, “So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation” (1 Peter 2:1, 2). There should be, in us, a child-like desire for the pure Word of God, not evil things; a longing for the perfect things of God, not the things of this world.

Jesus is calling us towards a child-like faith, child-like hope, and child-like love. Just think about how children so quickly and willingly accept the marvels of Heaven. “Impossible” is not a word known to a child, it is only learned as we become adults. It is interesting, and sad, that many of the things that plague us as adults are learned. As children we are taught to doubt, taught that one group of people can be greater than another, taught to not trust, taught that promises can be empty. It is when we are children that we learn to hate, to fear, to lose hope, and to give up. But Jesus wants us to go back to the simplicity of childhood when it comes to our spiritual experience. As His disciples, He desires that we return to the innocence of childhood—to change back into being quick to trust, quick to hope, and quick to love.

Jesus also calls us to humble ourselves like children. God has to be the greatest in our minds—not ourselves. We should be in awe of Him like a child would be in awe of their parents. You’ve experienced, or at least seen, a child in complete awe of something their mom or dad had done, haven’t you? As disciples of Jesus, we must have this same sense of awe of Him.

We must also be careful to avoid the childish trap the disciples found themselves in: they thought they were great because they followed someone great. Remember their question: “who is the greatest?” They wanted to establish a barking order. They wanted a hierarchy list. Was John the greatest? How about Peter? Maybe Bartholomew? No, definitely not Bartholomew. Sadly, this question plagued them even until the last supper with Jesus. Jesus reminded them in that upper room what He had taught before: disciples are supposed to be servants. We are to be humble not prideful. We are to look for ways to serve not be served. As Paul said, we are to “count others more significant than yourself” (Philippians 2:3).

Jesus wanted us to be like children so we would humbly serve each other and be quick to believe, hope and love. He is our example. He humbled Himself and became our servant. He generously and equally loved everyone and had quick, unwavering faith in His Father. And He wants us to be the same. Not childish, but childlike: humble servants lavishly loving each other and quick to trust in God.

Discipleship: Strength in Dependence

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This weekend the United States celebrates independence. It is a time of weekend vacations, backyard barbecues, and large firework displays. Of course, independence is something normally worth celebrating. I say normally because some have taken this to an extreme and believe that it is inherently wrong to depend on anyone. Those to adopt this concept tend to trust no one but themselves. Sadly, this hazardous idea of autonomy has negatively impacted many relationships—even our relationship with God. From the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, mankind has been tempted to live life independent of God. It is thought that we lose something by being dependent on another person. Yet, throughout the Bible, we are shown that there is power in dependence. Consider this story in the New Testament: Jesus found Himself facing an agitated crowd (see Matthew 17:14–20, and Mark 9:14–29). Not one to beat around the bush, Jesus asked them directly, “What are you arguing about?” (Mark 9:16). A man stepped forward from the crowd and relayed the situation to Jesus: He had a son who was possessed by a spirit which made his son mute and caused him great misery and pain. While that may have been a horrible situation, it wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he had asked the disciples to cast the spirit out, but they were not able to do it. At first glance, we might think this was asking a lot from the disciples. We know that Jesus had the reputation for casting out demons, but the ex-tax collectors, fishermen, and general mess-ups that followed him? Talk about great expectations! While you may shudder at the thought of someone asking for something so great from you, it would not have been an odd request for Jesus’ disciples. You see, Matthew 10:1 says that Jesus had given the twelve disciples “authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction.” In fact, they were even surprised and asked Jesus why they couldn’t cast out the spirit themselves (Matthew 17:19)! Jesus’ response: “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there.’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20). In Mark 9, Jesus told them that it could only be cast out by prayer. In other words, the casting out of the boy’s evil spirit should have been possible for them, but their faith and prayers were lacking. Was this a lack of faith in themselves? No. It wasn’t that they didn’t possess enough power, it was a lack of faith in God and His power. Because, although plenty of things are impossible for us, according to scriptures, nothing is impossible for God (Matthew 19:26). Jesus gave them authority to do these things, they didn’t earn it or learn it. A disciple’s authority and power does not come from the length of time as a follower. It does not come from completing enough seminars or getting a theological diploma. It comes from a dependent relationship with the Source. Even Jesus was dependent on the power of His Father. He said, “The works that I do in my Father’s name bear witness about me” (John 10:25). He did things in His Father’s name. Jesus explained that the works would help us to “know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father” (John 10:38). In other words, Jesus’ works revealed an ongoing, dependent relationship with His Father. Likewise, works done in Jesus’ name will be possible only because Jesus is in us and we are in Him. Jesus likened this relationship to a vine and its branches (John 15:5). In this example, Jesus was saying that if we abide, or live, in Him, His power (the fruit) will be seen in our lives. More importantly, as He says, without Him, we can do absolutely nothing! Yet, this shouldn’t surprise us. As Paul says in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” The Bible is clear: nothing is impossible for God, and we can do all things through Christ. You see, regardless of the vessel, the source of power is the same. The electricity that powers a city is the same as that which powers a watch. It doesn’t matter who the disciple is, it matters if they are plugged into Christ. It doesn’t matter how great or small the work is that you are called to do, because the source of power is the same. Our power as disciples is found in Christ, not ourself! So our abilities and worthiness do not matter; being plugged into Christ only matters. Jesus’ reply to the father in the story says it all: “All things are possible for one who believes.” (Mark 9:23, emphasis mine). You may not be able to do it, but God can—and if you depend on Him, you can. Yes, anything He asks you to do, you can do through Him. When it comes to the issues of eternity, it doesn’t pay to be independent. To truly experience the life God desires for us, we must learn again to be dependent—dependent on His power and love.